Silly musings...

I didn't expect electricity at this hour today because the schedule, which has not been 'functioning' anyways, told otherwise. So stupid of me to try to rely on it. So, I was all set to sleep, after sessions of bubble breaker competition between Geeta, Naren dai, Suman and me in Naren dai's new HDC mobile phone (I hope I am right with this name)! Noone could break my record of course! A thing to really be proud of!! Suddenly, when all was set... after we exchanged good night wishes, the UPS (thankfully) beeped, signalling that the dark hours ended. I jumped off the bed, thinking I would give shape to some (17, I would call it some though!) drafts into a blog post. Phew... I ended up writing this new one, and I am not sure if this will too pile up as a draft or actually get published.

Until a little while ago, while my computer was already on, I had this urge to go through the pages of my diaries... I flipped through some of the pages and I can already feel so 'living in the past'... I wonder why I don't write in diaries these days! I mean I do write but not as often. I noticed that one of my diaries (I have eight diaries in total) is more like a scrap book - with pictures, drawings, photos, petals, four-petalled cloves, and what not... I have a feeling that I miss those lazy days, when I used to go to college in the morning, did part time teaching and nothing much. I used to have plenty of free time then. Now, I think I am too busy. I really am envious of my past!

He who brought joy :)

That Alisha was pregnant and would give birth to a baby one day was certain, but that it would be such a lovely occasion to celebrate life was something I had never thought! Yesterday she gave birth to a baby boy - their first child - Sekhar and her very own, and that made me strangely happy.

For some reasons, I didn't want to be so much 'involved' into the whole thing, but when Sooman showed me his picture in his mobile phone today, I was tempted. He was lovely, no doubt - but there was something magical about his features - his I don't know what - that easily attracted me - that acted as 'gravity' to pull me toward him - to hold him, to give him love and smile at him. I can't exactly explain the feelings - but I know that never in the birth of anyone had I felt so elated. When my younger brother was born, I was not big enough to understand the whole thing - I was barely three years old - I was happy that my parents had given me something alive to play with, but I missed those feelings that I felt when Sooman's best friend's son was born!

Alisha, who is very young to be a mother, seemed so happy. Although the delivery was caeserian, I am sure that the bond between the mother and son will not be an inch lesser. Her hands were swollen with saline injections, and so was her body due to weakness: but she had the energy to explain what her newly born had been doing all day long to us who had reached there soon after office. Moreover, when the baby cried, she didn't even think twice before getting up to rock him in her lap. I was thinking about her fresh wound. Didn't that really hurt? Didn't the pain matter at all? That was so strange.

I thought I always hated to be a woman. I always wondered why mothers loved their children so much despite the fact that they have to bear so much of pain to welcome them to this world! I always found the idea of something alive growing inside me so creepy. But perhaps I realised it today how wonderful it is to be a mother.... to be able to give birth... to be able to give joy to everyone around. Just imagine, I am like a nobody to them... just a friend of a friend, and yet I can feel so blessed... so connected... I guess the happiness sparkling in Alisha's eyes said it all! Sort of enlightened me - that to be a woman is a blessing in itself. At least because you have the ability to create someone so adorable... whom you can't hate despite anything and everything!

I still have goosebumps all over my body when I am typing these words... I have not yet been able to forget the feeling I had when I first touched him... when I saw his 'big' open eyes... when I saw him smile :) ... when I noticed that he had those cute cute dimples... when he cried... when I took his pictures...

May God Bless him and his LUCKY parents!!

Life in the dark...

Perhaps it's been more than a year that we've had to accept loadshedding almost on a daily basis. But today the government has summed up everything and declared Nepal in a state of 'power crisis'... and that means we will have to learn to live in darkness. There's already 10 hours of powercuts per day and it will increase to 14 hours per day from coming Monday, and rise up to at least 16 hours per day from the month of Falgun.

I wonder what we are going to do all those evenings without lights, TV and computer... but then, on a second thought, we are already quite used to it, aren't we?

Even if we get inverters, I wonder how we will recharge the battery. And we can't think about generators because God knows when the government will declare Nepal in a state of 'fuel-crisis'.

And candles?? Not a good option either!

Right now, I can't think of anything else except how badly I am gonna miss reading at night. Reading my favourite books, the old pages of my diaries... or simply writing something. Playing web-games... watching my favourite television shows... or simply waking up doing anything else but fighting with myself to make myself asleep... Damn... I will have to change everything about me... and that's ridiculous.

Thank God I don't have to do homeworks anymore... I wonder how the school-going students manage to do their assignments or iron their uniforms!!

Simple things in life have become so complex... here in Nepal!!

I just pray that no thief breaks into anyone's home... I hope we can still feel secure! I wish no student gets punished for not being able to complete the homework if the reason is 'loadshedding'. I hope the 'power-crisis' will end soon. I hope I will get to read at night again, and not be forced to go to bed early only because of loadshedding...

I hope our life in dark will come to an end soon....

Balance...

I often wonder why life can't remain balanced... Sometimes you got to do so many things that you don't even have time to sit back and think about what you have been doing, and sometimes all you have is time, and all you can do is think what you can do. For instance, the last week was like a disaster to me... I was working continously without even letting myself think anything else... taking short lunch breaks, transcribing interviews even at home, working till late in the office, hardly talking to any of my friends and family members, and then getting hyper all the time. Above all, all I dreamt was the work that I was supposed to do the next day.

When finally everything was over yesterday for the next issue, I was more than just happy and relaxed. I also somehow promised myself quietly that I will hardly work overtime from the next month no matter what. I am fully aware that this means more focus and more dedication during the usual work hours, and believe me, I am ready for that. Because it's essential to give time to your family, to your near and dear ones... perhaps I need to think about it seriously... there has to be a life besides office...

I have to limit my work load at office and at home I have to be me - not the poonam I am in office. I wish I can handle my personal and professional life well.

I have voted, it's your turn...

This article was published in Cyber Sansar and I thought why not promote it? After all, it's a matter of pride to all of us that Shanti Sewa Griha has been nominated for the precious award. I would like to extend my best wishes to the Shanti Sewa Griha family...

Vote for Nepal
11 November 2008-Tuesday
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"Karma Gara Phal ko Aash Nagara", Shanti Sewa Griha exemplifies this quote. Started in 1992 with 13 leprosy affected people with a vision of helping beggars, leprosy victims, severely disabled, Shanti Sewa Griha today has proved that Impossible is Possible. Shanti Sewa Griha has been nominated for the Top 12 Finalist in 4th World Challenge 08 Global Competition aimed at finding projects or small business from around the world that have shown enterprise and innovation at a grass roots level.

This competition is brought by BBC World News and Newsweek, in association with Shell, and is about championing and rewarding projects and business which really makes a difference. The winner will receive a grant of US$ 20,000 to put back into their projects, and two runners up will each receive USD$ 10,000. One representative from each of the three finalists will be flown to The Hague, The Netherlands to attend the award ceremony in December.

The competition is categorized in six different categories including Community Welfare and Enterprise, Health and Education, Sustainable Farming, Energy, Water and Environment. Nepal is competing with other finalist’s from India, Kenya, Colombia, Pakistan, South Africa, Paraguay and Kyrgyzstan.

You can vote for Nepal to win this Competition. Just log onto www.theworldchallenge.co.uk and Vote for Nepal, project titled A CHANCE TO GROW- Shanti Sewa Griha-Nepal. Remember that the voting lines will be closed by 22nd November.

We would like to congratulate Shanti Sewa Griha for their endeavor and wish all the best for their achievement. Don’t forget to Vote!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Change has come to America, we want it here too!!

First a little background of how the title stuck my mind. I have caught cold, that's also when there's loads of work to do, both at office and for college assignments. One of the many things we are doing in order to get that '80' marks for practical is bring about a model newspaper with almost all the major contents. And, as editorial is one of the most important things to include, my friends, actually Sooman, suggested me to write on something that speaks about change. Obama was his idea of course.

The condition of my nose, eyes and throat is very bad. But I have to write something anyways. It's damn bad let me tell you, but I am happy that I have given my best when all my mind can concentrate is on my nice little bed who is luring me to sleep and take rest. But but but... miles to go before I sleep... and here I write the article:

Change has come to America, we want it here too!

‘You must be the change you want to see in the world.’ – Mahatma Gandhi

On 4 November, people all around the world witnessed a change – the change that has come to America – they saw how Barrack Obama made history by being elected the first ‘black’ president of the United States. People all over are talking about the ‘change’ that has taken place – they are enthusiastically following the development of American politics minute by minute, most of them little aware of how the change is going to affect them, in their very own life!

It’s yet to see how this change in America is going to affect our lives here in Nepal, but one thing is for sure, Obama has stood as an example to every one of us who has doubts regarding perseverance, faith and the zeal to become the ‘change’ that we want to see in this world.

Nepal has herself come a long way, and so have the Nepali people. With little bit of ‘peace’ and political stability that prevails in our own country after decades of civil war and violence, we definitely have reasons to be optimistic that change will come to Nepal too.

With more citizens politically conscious than ever, hopes of democracy twinkling in the eyes of the elderly who have spent major portions of their lives dominated by aristocrats, and youths passionate about bringing the transformation dear to all, every Nepali has the reason to expect the huge amendment that will change their lives forever.

Perhaps Nepali people had hardly imagined just some five years back that the Maoists would one day join the frontline politics of Nepal and occupy a major space in the government. But we have made it happen, and this is not a small achievement. No matter how trivial it might sound to people living elsewhere than Nepal, but for us, it’s more than a history – it’s a remarkable triumph that had been possible only because we wanted things to transform: we wanted change.

Now that we have come this far on our own accord, we are more than hopeful that things will turn out to be much better in the near future – that the constitutional assembly will put together the dreams of Nepali people in the new constitution that shall speak our language. We are sure that the efforts and enthusiasm which we had shown in electing the CA members won’t go in vain. We are certain that the CA members want as much the constitution to echo the voice of the people of Nepal as we do. We believe that every one of us wants change – the change we are so near to! The change every Nepali wants to be.

(And it's done... rubbish, I know :p... )

And life's normal again...

Back to blogging...
This was something I wrote in my notebook the day after my exams were over... I am digitalising it now!!

Date: 2008-09-19

Now that the exams are over, I'm so much relieved. It feels like somebody has come and taken away a big load from my shoulders... phew! the last week was like hell! Neither I could meet the deadline at office, nor could I concentrate on my exams. Truly, I was too stressed and so messed up. Thankfully, the chapter has closed now, and what else? Life's steady once again... it has caught up the usual pace yet again!!!

I'm glad that all my papers went on really better than what I could even expect. Especially the third paper of Journalism - the ethics, law and history one - I never thought I would be able to attempt all questions. Many I times I had even considered dropping the exam... I was really hopeless. But thank God... Sooman was such an encouragement... he made things so easy for me and convinced me that it was not that hard as well. He explained to me all the necessary chapters over phone and I hopelessly listened but lo! my exam was wonderful. Sooman really brought out the best in me...

And now what? The initial plans included hiking, trekking, a trip to Rukum (Oh! the ambitious one, CANCELLED), cinema - preferably 'Sano Sansar' or 'Rock On'... and bla bla bla... so many 'things to do' 'After exams'... but none of these seem to be taking shape! "These silly hopes", I think - but then what fun would life be if there was no hope?

Above all, I'm very happy these days - fully content over what I've been doing. It's just that, at night just before sleeping, when I recall everything I did all day, I just regret for not having done my best - for having made mistakes I could have avoided - for having taken everything for granted??

Actually I'm one of those few lucky persons on earth I'm sure - a loving family, a great bunch of dear friends and seniors to work with and a bunch of special friends with whom I can share the silliest of my stories. And then there's you - my dear blog, where I can scribble whenever I want to. Really, in the past weeks, I missed blogging and reading books other than those included in my course. I have become addicted to both, and seriously, I don't want to get rid of these addictions.

For now, as the exams are over and there's not much stress at work too, I feel cool (if that best describes the state of my mind). Yeah, the last week was tough, and much challenging but then whenever I closed my eyes at the end of the day, recalling the day once more, I always felt glad and breathed a sigh of relief. No regrets for choosing to work when students of my age focus entirely on studies. To work was my choice and no matter how stressful it turns out at times, I'm proud of what I have been doing. And my studies? It was my choice too. Really, no room for regrets but a large room for improvement - both at work and at studies.

And yeah, now that I'm a third year student, I shall try my best to improve myself in whatever I have been doing. I hope life goes on better than ever from now on.

Back to present, still working at office... dashain starts tomorrow, no plans yet. Hmm... watched Rock On on Saturday... Awesome movie... made me realise that it's never too late to live your dreams... But no, I am not planning to post a review in here...

PS: A very happy and prosperous Dashain to all!!